Time Out

  I'm in Montgomery, Alabama right now.  I'm spending a couple of months away from operational flying in order to work on my "leadership" skills.  What exactly is that rather esoteric set of skills that makes a good leader?  Well, I'm not sure I could tell you.  I could regurgitate a set of principles and qualities that scholars feel make the best leaders.  However, what I am seeing is that you can't really make a great leader.  I believe you can teach and form someone into a good leader.  But those truly great leaders are born not made.  Frankly, I would say I'm currently a relatively good leader in several realms so the things I'm expected to absorb such as how to care for people (yes, that's not obvious to everyone) and how to speak in public seem quite obvious.  This creeping curriculum has me somewhat frustrated because I am not getting to fly and I am very sure that those hard-won skills are atrophying daily.
  I am though getting so spend lots of time with my lovely wife and that makes up for it.  An even greater added bonus is that Sarah, Brian and little Cannon live about ten minutes away so we spend many evenings with them and that is a glorious thing.  It is so fun to tell them goodnight and know that we'll see them soon, not in months!

Coming Home

So I just packed up all of my worldly possesions that I have had over the last six months from my 5'x7' personal area.
It took all of about 15 minutes.
I am certainly ready to go home. I feel lucky both to have an amazing wife and family to go home to and to be able to go home to them. I stood at attention during a ceremony yesterday as a flag draped casket passed by supported on the shoulders of 6 grim-faced marines. It contained a man who was indeed going home to his family but not in the way he or they had wished. I didn't know his story; perhaps he gave his life heroically defending his friends or maybe he died standing in line at the chow hall where I was going to be when a 107mm rocket ripped through the sheet metal roof and exploded.
It seems sometimes that what happens to us is ruled by the unpredictable vagaries of life. Indeed three days ago I had finished flying and planned to go eat at the new chow hall. As I was waiting around till I got hungry a friend stopped by and convinced me to go eat with him at the old place a little bit early. Just after I got back I heard the unmistakable whistle of an artillery rocket sizzle by barely overhead and then a very nearby explosion. Turns out it hit the chow hall I was going to and killed one and wounded another 11 people.
I have more stories like that than I will ever tell, yet I get to go home to a wife and family that I adore. Thanks to the Father for allowing that. It's only a day away now, but it can't come soon enough!

Rhythm of Life

Time goes on here in a very Groundhog Day type of way. You wake up, put on the same clothes as yesterday, get on the bus to the other side of the base, brief up a sortie, go fly it for four hours or so, debrief and do the busywork that’s piling up, then ride back to your little room 13 hours later, eat at the same chow hall, workout in the same uniform as everyone else and go to sleep. There aren’t the things that we consider normal which we’re used to breaking up our lives like Friday nights, weekends, church, etc. Days of the week have no real meaning because each is the same as the one before it. Until now I never realized how much we need things like that both to look forward to and to inject a rhythm we can count on into a hectic life. A friend said that it feels like every day is Tuesday because you worked the day before, but you still have a whole week of work in front of you.
I’ve been thinking about this for a bit but I really see it today because I have a day off today, for the first time in a few weeks of long days, which has been incredible. I happened to realize it was Sunday so I went to the church service here and it was great to just be reminded of that part of normalcy in worshipping with others at a set time.
Being here makes me very thankful for those who have sent me a card, package or email. I may not always respond immediately because internet does not always work but they have been much needed reminders of the fact that there is a “normal” world out there and it’s filled with people who care. It makes me think of the little patches of weeds that spring up underneath the A/C units. This is a very dry and desolate land, but all it takes is a tiny bit of water and little splashes of green life are still able to tenuously hold on. Every time I hear from one of you it’s like a drop of water that lets me thrive even in this hard place.
So thank you very much.